Welts on Your Butt a Calf Could Suck: Reflections on Faith, Family, and a Farm Kid’s Life

“Keep the hogs away from there or I’ll put welts on your butt a calf could suck.” It wasn’t profanity. It was punctuation. Welts on Your Butt a Calf Could Suck is a collection of small-town stories from the gravel roads and hog lots of northwest Missouri — where dinner came at noon, supper came at sundown, 4-H wasn’t just an after-school activity, and life’s best lessons were often learned the hard way (and sometimes barefoot). With warmth, humor, and just the right touch of grit, longtime farm broadcaster and community advocate Tom Brand shares tales of faith, family, fences, feed buckets, and the kind of characters you don’t forget. Some stories will make you laugh. Others might bring a lump to your throat. A few might hit closer to home than you'd expect. Whether you’re a farm kid at heart, someone who grew up knowing which rows to walk in a bean field, or just love stories that feel like they’re told from across a kitchen table — this book is for you. Read more